hiLAnG KePerCAyaaN..

sumthing yg membelenggu fikiran aku

ari ini dan semalam..

perlu ke aku buang rse prcaya

towards men??

too much evidence dat i got

by myself..

1st person..

katenye tidak mgmbil akan itu..

but juz now me saw his pics..

me smiled..

but deep in my heart..

me started to hate him..

he's plastic!

i know..

me dont hve da rght to hate sumone..

instead of dat..

me bersyukur...

he's not my man..

yg Allah tentukan..

sgt2 bersyukur hbgn kami xspnjang yg dijangka...

hopefully he still remembered

to give what had he took from me..

2nd person...

sekali lagi me bersyukur..

syukur sbb tak sempat mempunyai sbrg hbgan dgnnye

mgharapkan seorang pengganti..

but at da same time

mgharapkan yg dh pergi..

zahirnye di sini..

reality is..

he's not 'here'..

masih mengejar byg2

yg diciptakan sndiri..

perlu ke anda mencari sesuatu yg anda tidak hendaki??

aku bersyukur..

he's not a man

dat Allah chose for me..

now..

me still looking for him..

da man who can guide me

to da real path..

to da Faith..

to da redhaNya..

as well as

can make me forget

my past memory..

a piece of sentence

surah an-Nuur, ayt 26:

"Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang keji,

dan lelaki-lelaki yang keji adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang keji.

Dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang baik

dan lelaki-lelaki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik….."

dis make me relized..

Allah know everything

utk hambanya...

me redha...

the end...

ALHAMDULILLAH...a word dat came out immediately after my program, Forum Bicara Ad-Din, finished. even not really my program, but i've control all da flow of da program...me n ezat yg jd mastermind for dat program..rmai yg dtg..huhu.. to ezat..thanz cz dh mlyn byk kerenah ku sepanjang kite bekerja bersama-sama..to org2 di belakang tabir, exco teknikal..thanz ats krjsama yg anda berikan...sgt berpuas hati program berjalan dengan lancar.. to abg azmi n kak roslah...thanz cz dh menolong byk benda yg kami xreti n gve us da chance to conduct dis program even me very nervous on dat time..huhuu..abg azmi, sory coz xprepare org byk sgt utk jge bckstge sbb nk 'buang' kerusi ngn meja tu..terlalu kesian bile tgk abg azmi berpenat lelah lpas trun tu..lawak pun ade..hahaha..n to da both of my mc, zainal n wafi...thanz so much..really appreciate cz tlong me jd mc mlm tu..u done it well! ramai yg puji..nice collaboration of mc..huhuh..1st time me got da best collaboration of mc..huhu..especially wafi...rmai yg puji slang anda sgt superb! huhuu... hopefully bleh jdkan angpa mc lg..huhuh...tak lupe jgk utk pembaca doa, izat...thanz sbb dtg wlpn lupe nk inform mlm tu progrmnye..huhu..kehadiran anda telah meramaikan lg phk lelaki..huhuhu..n da last person is of crse my ketua projek, abg hisyam..tq coz tlh berikan kerjasama yg sgt baik..telah melayan kerenah kami yg mudah kalut ini..huhuh...n tq lagi cz buat preparation, briefing n rehearsal on time..so tidaklah program terlalu kelam kabut wlpn keconfirman vip agk lambat..huhuhu...n first time sepanjang program MPI ni berlangsung, me saw all of da ajk of da projek trun pdg...sgt berdedikasi anda semua di bwh pmpinan abg hisyam..huhuh..so overall...OK! forum pun best especially turn dr jamnull..die sgt lawak..tp lawaknye mmpunyai mesej nye yg trsndri..i salute him! sme jgk ngn dr irfan, our moderator.. so hopefully me got another chnce like diz next time..even penat..huhuh..me enjoy it so much!

p/s: 1) first time abg azmi igt name me..last nite..hahahaa

2) to zainal...sorry..bkn sgja nk ambik tau hal zainal..huhuh..harap dimaafkan..

3) n me got da song yg grup 2nd yr sang during battle of da band..aku ingin mencintaimu..nice! thanz abg azmi!

4) dis nite is da last program..mlm penutup MPI..abg azmi n kak roslah ckp ade cndrhati skit for us..nyum3!!!

5) jom dtg ramai2 mlm in..majlis penutup MPI ke 12! pasti anda terhbur!

tITlE????!

I dont know..whether i should write it or not..but at least i need sumthing to release my tension...melepaskan rasa ketidakpuasan hatiku, a little bit bengang, some madness n a few sad.. maybe it will hurt sumone..so for those yg unsatissfied with my statement, please think it positively.. jika anda berada di tempat sy, xmustahil u feel dat way too..so..im sorry..

first of all...kenapa kami dianaktirikan?? is it becoz of da title?? kami xlayakkah menerimanya?? jika kami xlyk, kenapa anda menawarkannya?? or do u think with dat title, u should give da priority to them and ignored us??? da question is, if we are not here,are they can work it properly and give da best service to the others?? at least u still need us right?? too much benefits dat all of u give to them and sometimes it looks like they are really spoiled with dat..perlu ke begitu??? me dont think dat they work harder for dat..+, me think dat we're work harder than them... to maintain and get what u'd gve to us, we not just pass but we should get more than 2.10..but for them, they just need to pass only...really unfair! masih xcukup bukti lagi ke untuk mengatakan masih ade sifat diskriminasi dlm klgn msyrkt kita??? masih mengharapkan bukti lagi utk mengesahkannye?? okey..me follow ur rhythm..wanna other proof?? we learnt many subjek in a sem..but them?? only a subject n it might be very detailed compared to us..but da point is, too many subject need to struggle all of them n only a sbject dat same with us but differ in contain as they should learn it quite detail..which one do you think will have a complicated life?? me really wish dat da board of director give them a chance to be us n give us a chnce to be like them at least for a month..just change it for a while..and let them feel how stress we are..with the mountain of assignment but not to them..they only need to study.. but y they still feel that they are more busy until cant give any commitment??? if u think dat u cant give da commitment, y u intend to join dat?? we're more busy than u! please understand us! owh... do u think with ur title, it will make us feel sorry for u?? n do u wanna be a big headed with ur title??? please! kami dh bosan dengan sume ini! n to the other side, knapa masih nk menganaktirikan kami??? masih tak cukupkah dengan ketidakadilan anda dlm pemberian tersebut??? even we're still in the same place n da thing that they need is still in da same value as us...adakah anda merasakan they need it first coz they have to use it immediately?? kami pula cmne??? didnt need it immediately?? as i mention before.. we're still in da same place...wktunye juge masih same!! tp knpa anda sperti menidakkan kehadiran kami dlm organisasi anda??? please be honest..we need it immediately too as well as them...

the other thing..y me feel dat i need to give up everything??? aku dh bosan ngn sume nieyh!!!!! tp aku still kuatkan iman aku..n go through it...tp still kalah..knapa perlu begitu?? masih wujud kah sifat tidak adil dlm kalangan mereka??mybe ade kslapan aku..aku tak mengatakan aku betul 100%! tp knpa smpai sekarang perlu melalui bende yg same?? perlukah aku teruskan hidup dlm alam yg penuh tipu muslihat ni?? aku teringin menjadi seperti organisma lain yg sntiasa hidup tenang..aku impikan alam itu..atau mungkinkah aku perlu mengharapkan alam yg seterusnye dan berjumpa si DIA di sane?? utk selama-lamanya.....aku mendambakannya...

my cmplicated life....

argh!!! kepala dh berat berpusing..need an aspirin..not da panadol..but something dat will kill myslf too..i think...huhu..i cant live like dis...me should think it first before doin' anything..so dat i'll never make da same mistake as i make it juz now..yesterday...a bad day...y must us??? to cover urself from being exposed n to show dat u're work hard for dat but we juz like main2...hello???!!! its useless ar beb! what had happen..we're redha..but y u should blame us??? weyh, no point lar beb! ur point very rdiculous! xmsuk akal! we should blame u...but its otherwise..pening sgt!! dunia berputar ke tidak nieyh??? mybe terlalu kuat smpai bleh pening kot..mybe..huhuhu...frust pun ade..but me dont wnna concern it sgt...pnat dh..now??? me xtau bout myself..me xsure for myself or otherwise?? yeah..me admit it..me strted diz problem..but when i wnna stel it,, u ikut kpla u je...ape???! u igt me should ikt kpala otk u je ke??? me xd kpala otk??? ok fine! rght now me ikt kpla otk u..next, if i did sumthing stupidest to u, or me juz ikt my kpala otak for whtever..dont blame me..u decide it! me xnk gdo2..so me ikut je..do whtevr u wnna do.. damn it! oh god! y my life should goin' cmplcted like diz??? argh!!! me hate it! as what papa said...u must change it by ur own..juz take it ezy..n alwys remebr dat, me bhind on u...thanz for da nice advce pa...luvutothelimit!